Why Therapy With Me Isn't About 'Fixing' You.

Hi, my name is Nikki!  I’m a therapist and a professor of psychology, and I’m so thrilled to be a part of the B’well Counseling team!

Because of my work, you can probably guess that I love talking about therapy. And since you’re here (thanks for stopping by), I imagine therapy has piqued your curiosity too. Maybe you’ve been in therapy before and know exactly what you’re looking for. Maybe your past experiences left you feeling uneasy or disappointed. Or maybe you’ve been considering therapy for a while but still feel a little skeptical. Wherever you’re coming from, you’re welcome here!

So let me tell you a little about my approach: therapy with me isn’t about fixing you. That might sound counterintuitive, yeah? You have a problem, you see a therapist, and boom! problem solved, right? But it goes deeper than that. The truth is, the “problem” isn’t that you’re bad or broken. Anxiety, stress, trauma, depression, or complicated relationships can make it feel that way, but the messy, complicated, even “too much” parts of you are still you. And all of those parts are welcome in the therapy room. 

My role isn’t to fix you. My role is to walk alongside you as you reconnect with your strengths, honor your story, and build tools to support you in the life you want to live.

So you might be thinking, “But Nikki, I’m the one responsible for my life. All the bad stuff - that’s on me.” I hear that. I really do. I often see people come into therapy thinking that they need to be “fixed.” I’m not saying accountability isn’t important; it absolutely is. But I am saying maybe it’s not all of you that needs changing. More often, it’s certain behaviors or patterns that keep showing up, sometimes in ways that don’t make sense in the present moment. Sometimes those patterns go way, way back, and you can’t see clearly why they’re showing up now. That’s where I can help. In our healing journey, what we’re not going to do is shame those parts of you. They probably exist for a reason. Together, we’ll get curious about those parts of you and collaborate to determine what you need to move forward and grow in an effective, meaningful and sustainable way! Our shared goal isn’t to erase those parts of who you are. In our work together, we’ll seek to truly understand them, tend to them, and separate those old patterns from the core of who you are and who you are working to be.

I’ll often step in and ask: What’s important to you? What kind of life do you imagine living? It’s not for me to define a “good life” for you - you get to tell me that. My job is to support you in building it, using all the tools I carry in my therapist toolbox: CBT, ACT, DBT, parts work, EMDR… you name it.

Sometimes that looks like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), where we get curious about the thought patterns, feelings and behaviors  that keep you stuck. Other times it’s ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), which helps you notice what’s showing up inside you like stress, fear, or self-doubt, while still moving toward the values that matter most.

I also bring in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skills, especially if you’re looking for ways to regulate emotions, handle conflict, or feel more in control of your emotional reactions and responses. For clients working through trauma or old wounds, we might use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a powerful tool for processing painful experiences that talk therapy alone can’t always reach. And when it feels right, I use parts work to help you make sense of the different “versions” of yourself that might be pulling you in opposite directions.

Here’s what I know: you already have the courage, strength, and skills you need to create a life worth living. You may not feel it yet, but I’ll hold that truth for you until you’re ready to claim it for yourself.

The clients I work best with are usually the folks who’ve been carrying too much for too long, sometimes without even knowing how much they’ve been braving. Maybe that looks like putting on a brave face at work or school while feeling exhausted inside. Maybe it’s keeping the peace in your family or in your relationships at the cost of your own needs. Maybe it’s never really slowing down, because slowing down means facing feelings you’ve worked so hard to push away.

Many of my clients are teens and adults who are navigating trauma, anxiety, life transitions, and complicated family/relationship dynamics. I also work closely with queer folks who are figuring out how to live authentically while managing the weight of rejection, identity questions, and the current socio - political climate. 

Okay - take that all in. If this resonates maybe it’s time to get back into therapy or start fresh! Therapy with me isn’t about fixing what’s ‘broken’, it’s about working together as a team to give yourself the chance to heal, grow, and step into a version of yourself that feels true, with some extra support along the way (from me, your cool therapist).

If you’re curious, reach out for a complimentary consultation today!

We’ll talk through what’s bringing you here and see if working together feels like the right next step! Schedule a consult today!